nagia: (Default)
On a break from ME3 because apparently there's a promotion bug and I just do not want to deal with MP right now (also Aysun's from an incomplete ME2 run and I'm kind of just avoiding the Grunt mission because loss of her krogan baby will break her and Kaidan probably won't get that).

So instead I'm working on Dreams Where You Fall (the Humor Hawke DA2 Act II novelization).

My outline for my next chapter?

4:1
Adder crawls into bed and only crawls out again for Fenris

4:2
The Hanged Man. Aveline is amaaaaazing.

4:3
Petriiiiiiice.

4:4
Varnellllllllllllll.

4:5
Arishokkkkkkkkkk.
nagia: (ffvii; yuffie; best beloved)
FFFFFFFFFFFF, I say.

Usual block problem: I do not know what words come next. Every time I try to add words, they're wrong, and that makes all the other words look wrong.

THIS STORY NO LONGER TASTES GOOD. I almost want to give up on it. (I won't give it up, of course, but it's still making me really mad.)

Also at this point I'm basically biding my time until I go pick up Miss Cookie. She's coming to live with me~
nagia: (me; N7; i have died for you)
Embers is now on Chapter 56. I adore the fic, I really do (especially now that Kenshin and Kaoru have cameo'd; I'm waiting for Misao and Aoshi), but I'm actually getting kind of tired of it.

I want to see more RK work from her.

Now, excuse me, I'm going to off and whine like an entitled child.
nagia: (ffvii; yuffie; maniac grin)
14760 / 20000


I'm on chapter five of seven outlined, and I am getting closer and closer to wordcount. The "doll" has been introduced, and so have Kore and The Book. Took a break for a few days, then sat down and pounded out 1,400 words in one sitting. I'm going to shoot for more.

Thank bog I have a few days off so I can work on this baby. (I am, possibly hilariously, staring at chapter five going "What now?")




In other news, started writing a CM casefic in the moments I can spare from G&T. Setting it in my hometown, basically because I can and because it's the only place I know well enough to set a murder mystery in. Working title is "Tell Her That I'll Never Roam," and if you ever see me bitching about "the Glenn Miller fic" or "the Chattanooga Choo Choo fic," this is the one I'm talking about.

It's going to be set in a timeline of three fics exploring exactly why JJ took the stalker case in "The Crossing" so personally. (And, frankly, "She's pregnant!" did not explain it to me.) I have no idea if exactly what happened (and when, and why, and how persistent the emotional reaction is) will come out in "Tell Her That I'll Never Roam," but it's possible. I'm leaning toward "won't," however, or "won't be stated to other characters (though the observant ones may suss it out)".




And for RK, I've also started looking harder at "Untold Oceans," which will never be posted and is even squickier and more fucked up than "Hard Times," in fits and starts. There's actually not a water motif running throughout this one (unlike, oh, every other fic I've ever written). Title's a variant on "10,000 Oceans."

"Catch Me" is being quiet. Which is probably a good thing, considering how my brain wants to make absolutely everything (including G&T, though I'm resisting mightily) into a squickfest. I'm writing/plotting enough squicky things in the RK fandom right now. Don't need to go adding to the list.
nagia: (rk; a/m; blue eyed psycho romeo)
Quick notes: So far I've decided that this chapter needs to be non-chronological, since the bulk of the narrative is actually Misao telling Aoshi, and it doesn't feel right for her to talk about it in order. Bits of it are incomplete, and I'm not 100% sure I've got it all in the right order.

Warnings: sexual assault of a minor, violence, misogynistic attitudes (some period-appropriate, some unique).

three: but where at last the sea's line is the sky's )

WARNING misogynistic attitudes ahoy )

feel free to check my violence )
nagia: (ffvii; vincent; ravenous teeth that have)
Let me also add that I loathe fanfiction that takes itself too seriously. Honestly, if you're writing video game fanfiction, you are writing video game fanfiction. What you are doing is not akin to writing Ulysses. It's something you're doing because you enjoy it, and want other fans to enjoy it. That's cool (and I certainly enjoy fanfiction), but sometimes you can almost tell that the author is convinced of his/her genius, and it's off putting. The same goes for flowery language. It's distracting, rarely used even in great literature and...yeah, you're still writing video game fanfiction even in a best case scenario.

From this discussion.

That point of view infuriates me. Yes, fanfiction is a hobby. No, fanfiction is not professional. But transformative works are just as valid as totally original works, in my opinion, and some stories can use other stories to make beautiful, amazing points.

Probably the most amazing piece of fiction I have ever, ever read, that I love more than anything Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Guy Gavriel Kay or Glen Cook ever wrote was a piece of fanfiction.

It's called "Scheherazade". It is an exploration of stories, of the Final Fantasy series and its related works, of why we tell stories, of who we are in the dark, of who our enemies are. And it is probably the single most mind-blowing piece of fiction I have ever seen.

Or how about "Concession", an Iron Man AU about being unable to take concessions back, about disappearances, about abuse and isolation and journalism. It's a powerful piece, made moreso by use of names I knew and a story I'd seen.

You want chick lit? I can give you chick lit. The House of Amanda. The story of how Amanda Grayson assembled a household and raised a hybrid son in the Star Trek XI continuity. Again: a powerful story about motherhood, family, and marriage, and growing old together -- made more powerful by using familiar faces and a story whose end we already know.

How about horror? You want to try some horror on for size? I can do that. "Fatherhood". It's a BioShock fanfic about the process of becoming a Big Daddy. It's horrifying and painful, works primarily on original characters and IIRC is Jossed by BioShock 2. That doesn't lessen its effect: you don't have to be familiar with BioShock to be affected by the fragmented chronology or the sinking horror, but damned if that doesn't make it more effective.

You read these fics. You let "Scheherazade" shake you, let "Concessions" chill you, let "The House of Amanda" warm your heart and "Fatherhood" make you sick. Then you tell me that they aren't transformative works. That they aren't art.

I don't think you can.
nagia: (me; N7; i have died for you)
So I am responsible for this epistolary piece of insanity over at the Mass Effect kinkmeme.

Yes, that's Kolyat and Shepard emailing each that. Kolyat is such a bitchy little punk that I have to love him. For a lizardfishboy, he's exceedingly catty and teenaged, and I am kind of proud of my Kolyat voice.

Thing is, epistolary format is hard, because I feel like I'm having to capture Shepard's vocal mannerisms, while believably transcribing them to emails. And Perfect Canon Paragon Shepard's vocal mannerisms are hard enough for me to grab, and then make them EMAILS?

I really don't think this story could be told any other way. But goddamn if it's not a pain in the ass.
nagia: (abstract; wording: like whoring)
I think I've forgotten how to write heterosexual sex.

Penises in my porn? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?
nagia: (dao; sens; </3 sens disapproves -5)
I swear the DA2 crew are worse than Aoshi when it comes to music ninjaing. I listen to a song, look up, and they're carrying it off. (Yuffie approves, though, because these are music ninjas who will at least dance. Unlike Aoshi.)

Fenris needs to get the hell out of that corner with the bottle of Agreggio and "Go Insane." PUT IT DOWN, ELF.




Oh god why do I always write about the gross things in Thedas, like the Arl's corpse larders during the Village Under Siege Quest, or the bodies curled up with their faces in their own vomit during Blackpowder Courtesy?
nagia: (resi; human experimentation)
Well, "Nobility Has Another Meaning" just became unreadable (until they revise). There are no night elves in the DAO universe. Warcraft references in my DAO reading are just too irritating.
nagia: (rk; a/m; blue eyed psycho romeo)
(06:07:10 PM) [personal profile] nagia: Well, now I have a name for the bastard.
(06:07:23 PM) [personal profile] nagia: Tadashi.
(06:07:53 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: What's it mean?
(06:08:50 PM) [personal profile] nagia: "loyal"/"true"
(06:09:05 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: *amused*
(06:10:17 PM) [personal profile] nagia: ?
(06:15:51 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: Just seems like an odd name for him.
(06:19:08 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: Although I suppose most parents don't name their kids "Rapey McRaperson."




Context, for the weak:

I've been re-reading a lot of Western Ink's RK fic, because I've been wobbly emotionally and clearly Aoshi/Misao is the delicious pie to make me less wobbly, right?

Wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

All but two fics of hers have an Aoshi who is squicktastic (one's a silly piece of fluff with a faintly unnerving ownership undercurrent I choose to ignore; the other leaves Aoshi in crazypants mode and just extrapolates on possible WRONGWRONGWRONG scenarios from there -- so it's deliberate). In one of the fucked-up squicky fics, Aoshi apparently has not thought of Misao "bodily" until she mentioned scars, and did not think of Misao sexually until she mentioned a scar on the inside of her thigh. Which she later confessed she'd received in an attempted rape.

Does this disturb you yet? No?

It gets better: it's only after Misao has revealed that she was attacked and almost forcibly penetrated that Aoshi begins to think of her as available. Now that she's, direct quote from the fic, "stained."

Say it with me: "WHAT."

From a fandom perspective: Let's go into all of the ways this idea is fail: 1. STAINED IS JUST FAIL, 2. AOSHI WOULD KNOW THAT BECAUSE 3. HE'S THE LEADER OF A NINJA GROUP THAT 4. CONTAINS WOMEN. The odds of him NOT knowing a woman who had been assaulted (never mind men who had been assaulted, never mind the fairly high probability he's been assaulted himself) is staggeringly LOW.

Okay, fine, if that's just the way the character thinks and he has Meiji Restoration morals, then I expect the author to hint at this. There needs to be some kind of dividing line between author/narrator. I don't want to see this character think something so reprehensible, and then get everything he wants or asks for, get to force a marriage to a younger female character he's only recently decided was available, and... consequence free.

No.

So I've been writing a what-could-have-been. Not just a faintly new spin on canon, but a "where 'Daughter Figure,' could have gone." Sort of a cross between a remix and a response fic, I guess.




More AIM logs of hilarity:

(following a discussion of what might happen if Misao were turned into an actual weasel:)

(10:10:34 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: Okina would be forced to insist that Aoshi marry Misao.
(10:10:52 PM) [personal profile] leviathanmirror: His behavior was totally inappropriate for a man and unmarried weasel.
nagia: (ffxiii; lightning; fuck you snow)
This is what you get when you combine that "one sentence from your WIPs" meme with open letters to your fics.

Dear "These Graces That Hold Me":

Please stop being so difficult to write. Also, please stop throwing Fang's verbal mannerisms into my everyday speech, thanks.

"There has to be a way," she says while the very beginnings of a plan spool together in her head, tightening tiny knots in the loose, unravelled mass of threads that her mind has become.




Dear "Gifts and Treasures":

Something needs to happen, damn you!

For all that this crumbling castle was brand new, was potentially lethal territory, following Yuffie was exquisitely familiar.




Dear "First My Left Foot":

An actual plot--or at least a few more specifics on the conflicts--would be nice. So would a first line.

For an instant Lightning entertained that idea that if she'd known this was what Fang and Vanille had meant by, "Wake up," she'd have stayed asleep.




Dear "Hollow Hearts":

Please, please, for the love of the Watergod, PLEASE decide whether you're an angsty examination of moving on/nightmares, or whether you're a moody (but snappily witty) exploration of nightmares, growing up, and friendhsips that become something up.

Vincent's 'do something about this' expression turned sour like vinegar, morphed from mild disapproval into full-blown 'You are a bad influence on children, I KNEW it.'
nagia: (vs; ashley; try me)
/stares at FFX/blitzball drabble.

There's probably a reason I don't write Tidus often.

/stares at it some more.

/ponders water acclimation, oxygenation, sensory dep during the acclimation process, the difficulties of swimming against gravity with no apparent leverage, and exactly how blitzers are supposed to survive being suspended in a giant ball of water and then body-slammed. Repeatedly.

Seriously, any human should drown fairly quickly in those circumstances.

Also, if this drabble doesn't stop being about coaches and start being about the dark quiet of the prep tank, the ferocious metal blaring outside, the blazing neon followed by blinding floodlights, and the way the water pulses when it's not dripping off his skin, I will do something very not good.
nagia: (Default)
Totally random question that in no way relates to an in-development FFXIII epic: after cut for spoilers )




In other news: my dad is an asshole, my mom is stressing me out, and Gifts&Treasures isn't coming together.

Also, I should proooobably get off this damn Yuffie/Shalua kick.




Another question: since Oerba was apparently a communal society, would it have marriage in the modern sense (jointly owned property, usually joint finances, tax breaks)? I'm sure there were life partnerships and child-rearing unions, since they're kind of unavoidable if you want your humans not to read as totally alien, but would the word "marriage" or "husband" or "wife" been tossed around?




Also, the universe keeps giving me the best presents. I turned twenty, it gave me TDK; I turned twenty-one, it gave me a job; I turn twenty-two, it gives me insurance AND a movie directed by Chris Nolan and starring Ellen Paige. Clearly, the week of the seventeenth is when the magic happens.

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