CC: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: you should see this
Word in the wood says this is hunt-related.
COO, CEO of Argent Armory
Six Dead in Gosling's Run
By Lauren White
Police said six people — three adults and three children — were killed in a house fire in Gosling's Run, NY, on August 15, 2012. The names of the victims have not been officially released, but the burned property was owned by Robert and Irene Williams, now living in Seattle.
Irene Williams confirmed that the property was leased to a family of six, but would not release the names of the tenants.
READ MORE AT TIMESUNION.COM
I would have expected better of the Chase family. For your sake, I hope White never gets a look at the autopsies.
COO, CEO of Argent Armory
The autopsy reports haven't been made public — it won't, it can't be released unless there's a trial — but I do hear rumors.
I hear those rumors, too, Ericka. As it is, the police have officially declared the deaths of the Sorkin family to be a murder, and the house fire that killed them was arson.
Can you confirm any of the rumors about the deaths of the two children?
I can confirm that the bodies of Kylie and Kevin Sorkin were found outside the house, in their own back yard, by the firefighters, and I can confirm that they didn't die of smoke inhalation.
Local news report, September 1 2012
According to the police report, Kylie Sorkin (9) and Kevin Sorkin (6) escaped the burning house, only to be cut down — literally — in their back yard. Each child had two horizontal lacerations to the throat, ensuring swift deaths of blood loss.
Of near equal note, some claim, is the damage the fire did to the children's hands: both of the Sorkin children had elongated, sharp-looking fingernails.
— excerpt from "Update On Gosling's Run Murders," by Lauren White, Times Union Evening Ed. September 12 2012
United States Trends · Change
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN:
Thanks to twitter, tumblr, and FaceBook, the news of a gruesome murder in Gosling's Run has become widespread and may even eclipse the latest election news. Here with me today are Jeff Chase, a local resident, and Lauren White, a reporter with the Times Union.
Ms. White, you've been covering this story since the beginning, is that correct?
Yes, Greta, that's right. I was the first reporter on the scene, and I've been covering this since. It's been an interesting ride, I won't lie.
Can you give us a quick summary for those who might not have heard?
Oh, yes, of course! As best we can tell, in September of this year, someone targeted a family in Gosling's Run and set their house on fire, killing four people in one go, and then killed two childr —
— hey, hey, you can't go saying stuff like that. This wasn't some "targeted attack". It's awful, but I honestly don't think —
Then explain the kids to me, Mr. Chase. Somebody wanted to be very sure that none of the Sorkins survived.
It must have been the work of some random lunatic —
Yes, a random lunatic, Mr. Chase. I mean, as far as I can tell, nobody in Gosling's Run had any grudges against the Sorkins. They lived quietly. They were well-behaved.
I'm not sure I understand what you're implying.
And I think you know exactly what I'm implying, Mr. Chase. Isn't your father connected to Benbow University, up in Maine?
I'm not sure how any of this is relevant —
Search the alumni and tenured faculty at Benbow University, and you'll have a laundry list of murderers.
(face begins to ripple)
We know exactly why the Sorkins were killed. They weren't killed because of something they'd done. They weren't killed because they happened to catch the eye of a lunatic.
That's ludicrous, do you hear this, it's ludicrous. I can't just, Greta, calm her down.
(eyebrows have vanished, forehead has strange ridges, nose is broader. lisping:)
The Sorkins were killed for what they were. They were killed for being werewolves.
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
"On The Record With Greta Van Susteren," September 23 2012
stilinski not sinatra @Stilinski24
Holy shit. #werewolvesonfoxnews @DHale
erica fury @erinye-ereyes
HOLY SHIT @DHALE @STILINSKI24 @BHLAHEY @BOYDJUSTBOYD @ALLYA
The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
Tonight: join us as we ask Fox News: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? #werewolvesonfoxnews
United States Trends · Change
Alright, alright, everybody. Time to move on from making fun of the economy to making fun of my favorite people — Fox News.
I mean, can you believe this? They're so desperate to drag attention away from Mitt Romney's bout of honesty — and their die-hard support of America's first android presidential candidate — that they paid some poor woman to go on national television in a wolf-man suit!
stilinski not sinatra @Stilinski24
So instagram added a new filter @DHale @bhlahey @erinye-ereyes @boydjustboyd @allyA #werewolvesonfoxnews
holy shit there's a werecreature filter on instagram #werewolvesonfoxnews
It's not Erica's fault. It's not even Stiles's fault, although he's pretty sure he's the one that Derek's going to get mad at. Stiles has been a werewolf the longest, after all, and is also too smart to be doing this crap.
But there's Vine after Vine of dumb teenagers grinning goofily at the camera, then changing, until their foreheads grow ridges and their straight white teeth turn into fangs. Clip after clip on YouTube of young werewolves doing stupid things, from shifting and jumping over moving cars to making terrible American Idol audition videos. A Gangnam Style video where one of the attractive back-up dancers shows her wolf face gets a quarter of a million hits in fewer than twenty-four hours.
Hell, Stiles has been avoiding reddit because the most upvoted, comment-heavy AMA on there right now is "Hi Reddit! I Am A werewolf, AMA!" And how the hell did whoever started that send proof to the moderators, anyway?
So, seriously, not his fault.
But Stiles does end up being the one to hold the camera while Erica flashes a brilliant grin, her sunlight-yellow curls bouncing over her shoulders as she lifts her human hands, then extends her claws. She's gotten good enough at it that she doesn't even grow fur on her hands.
"Hello to all those werewolves out there who like to look nice," Erica says, and her grin shades from brilliant to sharp. "Let's talk nail art."
Yes, my fellow Americans, secret werewolves might even be worse than bears! This is not a drill — secret werewolves might actually be worse than bears!
CUT TO A YOUTUBE CLIP OF A YOUNG FEMALE WEREWOLF DISCUSSING THE BEAUTIFICATION POSSIBLE WITH CLAWS.
They even pass as harmless teenaged girls! Look at those gorgeous claws, though. That color looks great with her eyes and hair.
Of course she's also clearly a ruthless murder machine and danger to society.
Stiles isn't even in Derek's apartment building when he hears Derek's shouted command: "Take it down!"
He doesn't hear Erica's reply, but the heartbeats of the rest of the pack are loud and fast. Isaac's sounds nervous.
Stiles is on the stairs when he hears Derek say, much quieter, "They'll find you. They'll find us. If you don't want to die at seventeen, take it off YouTube."
He opens the door to the loft, and sees Erica bow her head.
"Okay," she says, quietly.
Derek turns to look at Stiles, then points at him. "And don't think I don't know that you were involved in this. What the hell were you thinking?"
"That it made Erica happy?"
Derek rolls his eyes.
Joining us from New York is Thea Rossi, C. E. O. of Rossi Consolidated Holdings. A pleasure to have you, Ms. Rossi.
A pleasure to be here, Wolf.
You mentioned that you can shed some light on this… current trend that's managed to take the spotlight away from the Presidential Election.
I'd like to believe that I can, yes.
(leans toward BLITZER)
Tell me, what did you think when you saw the Fox News footage?
My personal thoughts aren't really relevant, but the Society of Professional Journalists and the RTNDA have been publishing some very interesting thoughts about Fox's breach of ethics.
So you, the SPJ, and the RTNDA all believe that Fox News perpetuated some sort of scam? Do you, like Jon Stewart, believe it to have been a smokescreen to distract from the "forty-seven percent" remarks?
That's largely been accepted in the journalistic world, yes.
Then how do you explain the children? Teenagers and college students probably wouldn't have access to the make-up or prosthetics to fake what Lauren White is accused of faking.
Well, it's better than twerking videos. Although it's convenient that Ms. White is unavailable for comment.
Rather than imply that Ms. White disappeared herself after causing this… journalistic and political… tangle, I'd suggest you and your network send condolences to her family.
Has something happened to her?
She and another individual were involved in a car crash just four days after that disastrous interview. Ms. White was fatally shot when she went seeking help. I'm surprised nobody found this newsworthy.
I — Ms. Rossi, how did you hear about this? Is there some way we can verify it?
I attended her funeral. If you'd like, I can write down the location of the White family plot, as well as the number her parents actually answer.
Please, feel free. We'll have to verify, of course — and I would like our viewers to know that this information, as, as startling as it may be, is still unverified.
Is there anything else you have to add on this trend?
Oh yes. Before I… offer you my information, I need you to understand that none of what you're about to see involves make-up or prosthetics in any way. I will remain in full control of my faculties, and you will be in no danger.
Yes, of course. I hardly believe —
(face changes, forehead and brow ridges forming. eyes turn red. peels lips back to reveal fangs.)
My god —
(jerks back in his chair)
I am a werewolf, and I am in full control of myself, Mr. Blitzer. I may not be human, but I am still a thinking person, and I am not going to hurt you.
(shrugs out of suit jacket)
Ms. Rossi —
(stands from chair and removes high heels, then closes her eyes and changes into a wolf)
(shakily, never removing eyes from Rossi)
To anyone who may be watching this, this is not a trick, this is not the work of special effects, and this is not a scam. Thea Rossi, C. E. O. of Rossi Consolidated Holdings, has just claimed to be a werewolf — and backed it up by turning into a wolf.
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
Associated Press @AP
Congress calls for hearing on existence of werewolves. apne.ws/1jf7MNY
We are a budding pro-werewolf group who intend to promote werewolf interests in legislation and fight any discrimination werewolves may face
Rossi Consolidated Holdings @RossiHoldings
Rossi Holdings is proud to announce support of HOWL, the first pro-werewolf group.
Center For Disease Control @CDCGov
Debunking lycanthropy contagion myths with Rossi Holdings and HOWL: tinyurl.com/4fsJmNX
Stiles doesn't even begin to know how to react to Thea Rossi, alpha of the Rossi pack, the biggest, baddest werewolf in New York, wolfing out on CNN. Even Derek — who knew her, once upon a time — acts like he's stunned. His heartbeat goes crazy, and he stares at the screen with the kind of intensity Stiles hasn't seen on him since the earliest days they knew each other, when Derek acted like a serial killer all the time.
It's the focus, Stiles realizes dimly, of a natural predator.
Which is of course when Dad walks in. He's shaking, his motions choppy with surprise and anger, as he jabs a finger at the television. "Did you know this was coming? Do you know what this means?"
"It had to happen," Derek says. "But no. Thea didn't tell me. I've got good land, but I don't have a big enough pack for her to talk to right now."